Harnessing the Power of Emotions: Why Emotional Intelligence is the Key to Success

Emotions are powerful, and driven by them we are vulnerable to making irrational decisions that affect others. Neuroscience research explains in part why this is the case, based on the structure of the brain.

Humans operate with two collaborating brain systems. Our “cognitive” brain is located in the top center, known as the Prefrontal Cortex. This region is in charge of capturing sensory data from our senses, enabling us to reason, rationalize, and make good decisions. Our lower brain, known as the “reptilian” brain, is located at the base of the brain near the brain stem. This is where the limbic system, amygdala, thalamus, and hippocampus lie. Known as the “Emotional Brain”, this region is in charge of sorting out and adding context to our sensory input. It authorizes our autonomic nervous system to respond to stress that manifests in the fight, flight, or freeze responses.

Both of these systems usually work congruently to shape our responses and give us the best strategy for our survival. Sensory input works through our nervous system, then the limbic system, and finally to the cognitive rational brain. Yet often before our cognitive brain responds, we’ve already experienced strong emotional input in the journey of interpretation. A lack of awareness of how these systems work can cause us to be emotionally hijacked, with our emotional brain shutting down other brain regions and dulling our capacity to rationally assess a situation.

Knowledge of these brain systems is where emotional intelligence can begin. Most of us make emotional decisions in our lives. For example, there is the urgency instinct trigger, which causes us to buy a sale item we didn’t need or couldn’t afford because we’re informed, “Sale Ends Tomorrow!”. Great marketing companies understand this power of emotions and create elaborate methods to trigger these emotions for selfish gain. Moreover, we are naturally drawn to people, stories, and music that can channel our emotions and create connections with us. This is the reason emotional anecdotal stories are more likely to be remembered than mere data or statistics trying to provide the same message.

A true statesman understands the power of emotions. Self-awareness helps us to avoid being emotionally manipulated by a person or a circumstance, to create a top-down rational response that isn’t reactive but proactive. Emotions are to be welcomed, but also carefully assessed. When we understand the power of emotions, we can also be careful not to use it for manipulation or selfish reasons; rather, to use emotions as a tool for education, establishing greater means of connecting with others, and validating the emotional context of those close to us.

Historically it was popular in professional environments to say “Keep your emotions out of it!”. “It” being anything related to work or the task at hand. This superficial robotic culture created a colossal disconnect between the workers and their ability to be valued and fully productive. The feeling of being ignored and rejected has the same chemical reaction (release of endogenous opioids) as physical injury in the brain. No wonder so many people hated their workplace! To have a healthy culture in our families and workplaces, we must validate people’s feelings and emotions. But this is tricky, particularly in the culture of "me-ism" so prevalent today. Are we to validate all feelings and emotions? Are we then to give place to employees who "feel" they are devalued simply because we have high expectations for them? It's one thing to regard emotions, but another to allow them to negatively impact the company or those around them. Yet, up to the line where validating others' feelings and emotions moves into “me-ism”, we must strive to display a high degree of empathy and grace. This will not only help people feel safe and validated, but also more loyal to you and your company.

Let's be intentional about using emotions to better lead and understand others.

What do you think about emotions?