The Power of Confrontation: Turning Conflict into Positive Change

As I write this I’m smoking one of my preferred cigars–My Father’s Flor De Las Antillas. My Father is a Nicaraguan cigar company and the Flor De Las Antillas (in this case, the Colorado Toro) is a wonderful cigar filled with predominantly spicy pepper and nutmeg notes.

Let’s go on a road trip: healthy relationships is the destination, clear communication is the car we’re driving, and confrontation is the highway we’re taking.

Statesmen Smoke

Confrontation is a jarring word with a negative connotation–something most people try to avoid. According to Merriam-Webster, confrontation is defined as, “a face to face meeting” or “the clashing of forces or ideas.” While confrontation is a strong word, I’d like to show the power of confrontation to enable clear communication and create healthy relationships.

Humans are designed to interact, and experts estimate 70-90% of communication is non-verbal. This elevates the importance of physical (not virtual) face-to-face interaction. So, let’s view face-to-face interaction as a form of confrontation–not necessarily a “clash of ideas” but an opportunity to enable clear communication. Clear communication leads to understanding, honesty, and transparency. Thus, to “confront” someone is to do something healthy–not just for ourselves, but for others. Confrontation is the highway on which clear communication drives.

Okay, so we are relational beings and confrontation enables clear communication, but so what? Is that worth the possible discomfort inherent in confrontation? Yes! For on the horizon of the highway of confrontation is the ultimate destination—healthy relationships. This is what makes confrontation so powerful. Not only does it enable clear communication, which promotes understanding, honesty, and transparency, but it can also satisfy a fundamental desire in all of us as relational beings—healthy relationships. Without healthy relationships, we become isolated, lonely, and end up in a feedback loop of our own fears and insecurities. Who wants to live like that?

On a personal level, this blog wouldn’t exist without confrontation. At many points throughout the development of Statesman Cigar Co., in order to create the best business possible, I have had to confront my business partners (who also happen to be my friends, which adds another layer entirely of potential discomfort to navigate) and they me. Because we engaged in confrontation, rather than run from it, Statesman Cigar Co., and this blog, exists.

In summary, confrontation is the highway upon which clear communication drives, which leads to the ultimate destination–healthy relationships. By engaging in confrontation, we get to experience understanding, honesty, and transparency and our fundamental need for relationship is fulfilled.

So, take a long draw of your favorite cigar or a sip of whatever you’re drinking, reflect for a moment, and let us know your thoughts below.